If only my partner would...
How many times have we said this in the hopes that the bad day we're having will end? In a world where some are conflicted about being committed to one partner and the others are still trying to find the “one,” it’s confusing and when you’re dating, which side of the line do you fall on?
It was always important for me to know because I ultimately wanted to be reassured that when times get tough, you'll offer guidance through words or a listening ear.
I wanted to know that the guy I end up spending my time with is the kind of person who will ebb and flow with me because everyday is so different.
Some days, I’m going to rip through the house like a hurricane because I’m overtired, over-worked, and in desperate need of a hug. Other days, I’m the one who is offering a hug when you’re off your game.
When we have those days where the struggle feels all too real, it can be a crutch to pick apart the person we’re with. Do you ever notice that everything from they have food in their teeth to their hair being out of place, drives you absolutely nuts when you're off and then other days it’s “cute?”
When I feel a storm of emotions begin brewing, I start by letting him know that I’m feeling off and that I’m doing my best to work through it, but there may be a hug, laugh or cry needed at some point in the near future. Stopping to at least address that I may need extra help or time alone makes it a heck of a lot easier on the both of us.
When I'm off my game, I start by going outside for a walk, making a call to a trusted friend, and then sitting down to write. There’s something about the art of writing that stirs up all my emotions; it instantly makes me relieved that I’ve been able to identify what’s up for me and where it came from.
Sometimes, it means I have to repeat; walk, call, write to be able to really move through those sad, angry or hurt feelings into a more compassionate place.
When all else fails, I turn on my favorite music and start singing to relax and then I go in and ask for that hug I requested, remembering that I practiced moving through the tough stuff and it doesn't mean I have to do it alone.