This week, in the Love your Life group, we're talking about Intuition and I tapped into some resources to get various perspectives that I thought you'd find interesting, too!
First, let's define Intuition: the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
Making a decision without second guessing ourselves, which let's face it, we all do.
My first thought is usually my intuition - it's quiet, calm and clear.
The next idea that pops into my head is usually my fear and then the next few thoughts are my intuition and my fear trying to take center stage.
I've really been practicing not to do this dance of bouncing between intuition and fears. Instead, I go back to the first thought and see it that "feels good" and then take action it.
When it comes to learning to love ourselves and to become healthier and happier in our dating lives, some questions may pop up like:
Should I stay at home tonight and cancel that date?
He just said he's still in contact with this ex, I wonder why that is?
I want to call her, I wonder what she's doing? Is she thinking of me?
When we want to call an ex or someone we're dating because we feel lonely or bored, it can be helpful to identify what's really going on with us.
I always like to ask myself:
did I get enough food or water? (so basic, but sometimes we forget to!)
what do I hope to gain from reaching out to them?
what are the consequences of reaching out to them?
what do I really need?
As I was researching intuition, I came across this article, where Ashmi Pathela said: "We spend a lot of time in our heads. And I’d like to think we’re pretty good at rationalizing our decisions."
That speaks to me! I find when I rationalize my decisions they are met with fear, anxiety, envy, excitement...a mix range of emotions. I thought Awe was interesting, as I usually categorized awe as envy, which feels like jealously and resentment; a sadness that I'm not doing something I want to be doing, but I realized when I tap into that feeling deeper that it is awe.
" Awe — Interestingly, there’s a good kind of awe-mixed-with-envy that I’ve learned to listen to. When I feel awed by someone else’s career trajectory or lifestyle, I see it as an indicator of something I want to create for myself. When my friend quit her job to travel the world and start her own consulting agency, I felt envy and admiration because this was my dream, too. And six months later, I took the same leap."
My intuition plays a huge role in how I coach and live my life. I love speaking with women who are single as well as dating, who are putting their own values and needs first in life, learning how to follow their intuition, and who are practicing taking action in their dating lives, that's aligned with their intuition.
When we practice strengthening our intuition in one aspect of our lives, it naturally blends into other aspects because we are building a response to check in with ourselves to see what feels good before making decisions.
In the book: Shift the Work by Joe Mechlinski there are 3 factors that help us follow our intuition:
We've all had those experiences of saying these:
"my guts telling me to..."
"I know in my heart..."
"I think it's best if..."
When all three are aligned, it helps us to make a decision that's best for us. I find that the best way to tap into my intuition, especially when it comes to my dating life, is to sit quietly for a hot second.
I know meditation has been proven to help reduce stress and anxiety and while you may not be "good at meditation" it's okay to sit still for even a few minutes to let the thoughts pass to be able to hear what it is that they're (you are) trying to say.
When you sit still...what are your thoughts trying to tell you?